Anyway, I was writing posts for my new online community for an unrecalled number of months I’m currently guessing to have been five.
One of the people who came-over with me from the old community refused to bother telling me any of the things she objected-to about the ideas I there-shared.
The memory of another poster whose presence had dominated the old Community also still hung-heavy over the new one I had-started, at-least largely to gain-space from–; if-only just so I could express any distinctly different ideas, not-necessarily conflicting with hers, and definitely, not to have presented them, as any form of so-called challenge or rebuttal, to her ideas–. These were my ideas “period,” and they were not borne-out of my otherwise exposure to her ideas–.
In addition to being openly snubbed by the first person who saw my introductory ideas, I would suddenly discover, that at this “community,” of-which I was the ostensible, so-called “owner–;” practically every-post I put-up was being heavily restricted–; and they were doing it in a backhanded, incomprehensible, unaccommodatable way.
I finally told them about that tonight, explaining all the intrinsically unacceptable ramifications of their doing that.
This whole scenario reeks of “The Twilight Zone,” or “Hooterville–;” where everything is done-backwards–;
I don’t want to say how many or few people who joined the group actually did give me feedback about anything, but they deserve credit for the feedback they have given, which has been wisely, deliberately pointed to the positive, since a “yes” “automatically-identifies,” the thing it refers-to–; whereas a “no,” is intrinsically vague–; again, “If not-this, then-What–?” I would get negative feedback, too, but it would be properly specific, so I could respond to it.
The firestorm of flak I’ve been getting in trying to post on that community, has been so self-discrediting, that the only conclusion I can draw–; is that it’s just a bunch of tear-gas and flash-bangs–; to try to disorient, demoralize, or exhaust me, into deleting the community–; although who would be doing this, to me–; is equally mystifying–.
Who would want my community deleted–; could only have-been either a transphobic, although, never having-seen this happening to any other poster on a transgender communiy, that seems-doubtful–; or, someone in the trans community, who was dogmatically-closed, to any novel ideas–; the latter of-which, however-unfortunately, was nothing-new, here–.
I had significant doubts that it was either the person who had followed-me-over from the old community–; or the writer who had been most dominant there, and who didn’t follow-me-over, nor-was invited-to, since the idea was to get myself out of her space, as well as to find space for myself that was more free from “her.” Neither of those persons seemed to have been overtly capable of at-least this-level of unimaginable treachery or deceit, but probably would have told me to my face about-it, if either-one of them would have wanted me to delete my community.
Although I still have positive communication with a small fraction of the few people who joined my community over its months of existence, this repressive and stigmatizational atmosphere has been giving me deep-conflict about whether it is even safe for me to stay-there at-all–. Am I just being used as their latest beta-test crash-dummy for new-tricks to start-with, when they refine them to their successive next-step, upon their next, unwilling “volunteer–?”
So, my next-step, in retrenching to the written-blogs–; also inspired by finding an intervening proliferation of Communities in the online-Community service–; relies-upon the corresponding hope of likewise finding proportionally, the same-increase in the number of transgender written-bloggers back here–.
I haven’t deleted the Community yet, and hope I ultimately don’t have to–; but in-the-meantime, I am back-here to see whether I can find blogs by more trans people than I had been able to have found-here, back when I had started this blog, to see whether I can join or start, inter-communication networks.
This is not one of those blogs that sometimes manages to look like some sort of a so-called “practice-blog,” to an observer–; one done, simply for the sake of mastering the tools on a blog service posting site, or seeing how one’s words looked on a colorfully-formatted blog-page. I am writing this blog for the express-purpose of networking with other trans bloggers. That is the whole purpose of the entire project that this blog represents. This version of the “Teddy Ruxpin” teddy-bear doll, is equipped with a microphone.